THIS IS THE YEAR OF OUR LORD TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN AND YET THERE IS STILL NOT AN ALGORITHM FOR TUMBLR TO FIGURE OUT THAT I DON’T WANT TO FOLLOW A BLOG WHOSE ICON OR URL IS ONE OF MY NOTPS
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE
sometimes I remember that there are angels and demons around and they can see me and I get really self-conscious
Work just called and they want me for two whole weeks next month. This is fantastic. It’s also kind of horrible.
if your child is misbehaving, even if they’re not hurting anything, I’d rather you discipline them, tell them to knock it off even if they’re gonna throw a fit
I’ll take a screaming child in my office any day over the one who’s allowed to dance around me while I’m trying to do my job
DON’T YOU SEE
THE UNIVERSE IS ALIGNING
THE TV SHOWS ARE COMING TOGETHER
BECAUSE THIS WEEK JAFAR REWRITES THE LAWS OF MAGIC
SO ALL THE HORRIBLE SHIT NEEDS TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW
BEFORE HE’S STOPPED
SO THAT THE WRITERS CAN GET THEIR CRAPPY TWISTS OUT OF THE WAY
BUT WE STILL GET HAPPINESS
MAYBE WE WON’T SEE ALLISON OR NEAL OR THE MOTHER COME BACK FROM THE DEAD
BUT WE’LL ALL KNOW IT HAPPENED
Imagine Loki, sitting on the throne of Asgard, watching Sif arrive on Earth. He’s all excited for the epic girl fight he’s just set up, and then who should appear but Phil Freaking Coulson.
So what should have been an enjoyable day watching Sif kick ass, becomes a day spent obsessing over such serious problems as:
and then. The ultimate realization, the greatest blow of them all:
And now it grates at him. He starts watching Phil all the time. (There’s not even a scar!) And he starts to get really annoyed because not only is he unoriginal, but he’s not even doing it as well as Phil Coulson is.
Here is Loki, sitting on the throne of Asgard, wearing Odin’s face, trying to figure out how drastically he can alter the royal guard uniforms before it becomes obvious that he’s ogling Sif; while Phil Coulson gets to wear his own face and live on a plane with beautiful young people.
Up is down! Black is white! The universe is in chaos!
And while Loki would generally enjoy that sort of thing, this isn’t benefiting him any.
bad idea: trying to find the specific name for a piece of surgical equipment while eating lunch
Can we all appreciate that there are agents at SHIELD whose entire specialty is superhero wear?
They keep them all in an underground bunker in an undisclosed location. Not because they’re a big liability, but because it’s like Project Runway down there. Only cattier.
And if Loki had stayed around much longer they’d have dumped his ass down there to torture answers out of him.
The designers would critique his fashion choices. (“Fashion! You can’t call something like that fashion! It looks like it crawled out of a swamp and is slowly eating him alive.” “You have to give him points for drama though. It just screams ‘I’ve come to rule you.’” “Yeah, he has.”)
And they’d set up a little booth next to the Cage to have their “confessions” and Loki would just sit there, listening to their inane little problems and questioning his choices. Why did he want to rule these people again?